📢 The Needy Girl Boss Is Here To Announce It's May 😉
✨ It's my 36th birthday month; I am officially ready to retire the meme that keeps my friends and family engaged. ✨
PSA 📢: You officially have 27 shopping days until my birthday. 😌
It’s May 1, y’all. And you know what that means. It means on April 30, I continued a long-standing social media tradition that friends and family come to expect of me. Who am I to disappoint people?
IYKYK, but if you DON’T KNOW, it’s the infamous Justin Timberlake “It’s Gonna Be Me” meme. We know he’s saying me, because “May” isn’t in the title of the popular N*SYNC bop “It’s Gonna Be Me” but his inflection, albeit a stretch, stuck with the masses. It stuck with me.
“It’s Gonna Be Me” isn’t even the best song on that record! It’s clearly either “Bye, Bye, Bye” or “Space Cowboy” — but I digress from my point. The point is, it’ll never be Millennium.
This meme has withheld the internet better than Justin Timberlake’s latest record. Meanwhile, Lance Bass has the life he deserves and we’re happiest for him.
But you know what else has stuck with me? How I feel about Justin Timberlake now. Yeah, I am talking about the Britney Spears memoir and all of those bombshell claims against the second-best vocalist in the second-best boyband of their era (BSB4LIFE, MMMK?).
This is our new meme, because if reading the scary, yet sensual annuls of my brain, you know I would risk it all for Nick Carter.
🎂 May is My Birthday Month 🎂
May marks the celebration of my 36th year around the sun. My birthday also falls on Memorial Day weekend, meaning my birthday is the official kick-off to summer.
It also means, as I mentioned above, you have 27 shopping days before my birthday. I accept gifts throughout the month.
Other notable May birthdays off the top of my head:
my childhood bestie, Jessica, is a cusper — her birthday is the 22nd.
Janet Jackson shares a birthday with my momma
My college bestie Bailey also shares my momma’s birthday
Pretty sure Angelina Jolie is a Gemini
I don’t ask for much: momma usually gets me an outfit and makes me one of her world-famous pound cakes. It helps that my birthday is after her birthday (May 16) and Mother’s Day. She’s super spoiled and totally where I get it from.
We’ll be going to the beach to celebrate the anniversary of her miraculous birth — Hilton Head, gird your loins.
If you want to gift me anything, I have wish lists on Amazon, Discogs, and Etsy. I am currently into books, vinyl, and pro-wrestling t-shirts.
🧠 What else is on my mind this week?
I organized my bookshelves. This is my story.
I have a handful of good friends. Jeremy is one of them. He also has a fabulous Substack of his musings.
He’s also one of my dearest friends and I can talk about wrestling with him. WWE is hotter than it has been in AGES, and I am back watching it regularly.
When my baby daddy CM Punk came on and trolled Drew McIntyre HARD on the April 29 edition of Monday Night Raw.
This is what I texted my beloved Jeremy as my man’s music hit:
I mean, he looks like he’s in amazing shape and ready to get back into action. Bae is SWOLE.
I was in sploosh mode when he made it to the ring. And it doesn’t help that Drew McIntyre is fine AF, too.
🎤 Rap Beef is Back
I have no words, Kendrick Lamar said it all.
🎶 T’s Tasty Tune of the Week 🎶
If you would have told me Vanessa Williams, who looks like she’s been cryogenically frozen since Ugly Betty unfairly canceled, was going to drop a bop at 61 and ABSOLUTELY getting the choreography in this video for her latest single Legs.
It’s been stuck in my head for the last 24 hours, so you’re welcome.
In case you’re younger than a millennial reading this, she was the first black Miss America. In the ‘80s. Yeah, not that long ago. This is also her first new music release since 2009 — perfectly timed for her starring role in the newest Broadway production of The Devil Wears Prada.
NSFW Meme of the Week
My second favorite creampies are the Little Debbie Oatmeal ones.
That’s all I got for today. Be good or be good at it ✌🏾